The Mistakes You Make In High School Can Follow You Forever

Last night the United States reached a new low. A sitting president mocked the testimony of a victim of sexual abuse. No matter what your politics, the notion of whether or not you believe someone’s recollection of the nightmare of an attempted rape rips the scab off of an event that may or may not have happened during a high school party. Imagine the pain and pride of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s husband and children. The pain associated with the life altering repercussions of attempted rape, and the pride that comes from seeing a person rise from the ashes and cry out for justice.

Alcohol is a drug. Consuming alcohol is using drugs. You can say that you only have a beer on occasion, or that you only drink socially. If you are under the age of consent – which in most states is 18 or 21, then you are also breaking the law. An arrest for public intoxication or under-age drinking will follow you around for years. It could effect the schools that you apply for, or the jobs that you apply for. It will go on your record. It will cost your family grief and money. It will probably lead to more drinking, drug use, etc.

I used to tell my own son “If you try a drug you are a fool. If you try it again you are a drug user”.

What may not be discussed is the behavior that results from the breakdown of social standards and inhibitions that come with drinking and drug use. It can come fast and unexpectedly. It will eventually lead to tragedy. I can guarantee that. And unlike the actual report that a police officer may write, or the warrant that a judge may issue, or the sentence that a jury may invoke – sometimes what follows you is not something written down as part of the public record. It could be something far worse – a memory that will echo in the mind of the victim and reappear in the life of the predator. It’s a memory of an event that has the potential to ruin lives, no matter when it happened.

Judge Brett Kavanaugh is a gifted jurist and educator whose life has been ruined because of what may or may not have happened in high school. His denials do not erase the messages that he scrawled in friend’s High School annuals. He can try to change the definition of some terms that most high-schoolers know to be intolerant, stupid, infantile and misogynistic – but as long as the ink remains on the page, he will be tied to those words. He wrote them. If you are embarrassed by something that you remember you wrote, then it may be a good idea not to write something like that again.

If you are with someone and they tell you ‘no’, don’t try to turn it into a ‘yes’. No means no, no matter when it is said. When you see someone who is being overpowered by someone else, get help for them. Do not put yourself into a dangerous situation. Do not turn away from it.

Heroes are the people of any age who do the right thing for themselves and for others.

And for G-d’s sake, don’t ever belittle or mock the words of a victim.